I woke up extra early today so I could go review the part on Disaster & emergency preparedness I'm supposed to talk about at church. Sadly, the water supply was cut off lasting for a few hours and so I ended up staying home (not my home) watching carpool karaoke on Youtube.
And I figured out that I should write down all the random thoughts running across my mind lately.
First off, I had my second panel interview at the Bureau of Quarantine a few weeks ago. I came there feeling so dressed up in my black Hello Kitty long sleeves, camouflage skinny jeans and velvet clogs only to realize that the other interviewees wore blazers & pencil skirts, stockings & low-heeled shoes, red lipsticks & mascaras. Looking back, I was never really intimidated by being so under dressed; I was so used to that feeling.
While waiting for each of our turns, we managed to talk to each other and realizing that all 7 of us at the area were being interviewed for one position (okay so I initially thought that I was applying for the HEPO-Iloilo position, turns out I wasn't). And I managed to meet this person from Batangas who told me that he initially also wanted to be a nurse, after learning that all of us except him were registered nurses, but that he wasn't able to pursue that dream saying "Ang taas kasi ng pangarap ko. Gusto ko sa UP." Though he felt bad seeing most of his classmates receiving letters from UP except the four of them who put nursing degree as their first choice, he said that he had no regrets finishing his Chemistry degree in PUP.
Even in such a short conversation, I was struck with the different ways on how souls affect each other on different levels. We managed to talk about the need for social reforms in the health & education sector, on how that 50-centavo increase on the previously 12 pesos per unit tuition fee might seem laughable to some but actually means a whole lot of money to others hence the protests, the struggles of being delayed and finishing college longer, and the uncertainties of growing up, trying to find work as well as your place in the society.
Okay. This is not a confession to a senpai. I don't even think I'll even see him around ever again as I really think he's one of those souls I was destined to meet only once but surely one I'll remember for a long time.
Meanwhile, I am still stuck here in the unending cycle of doing nothing but thinking about everything especially questioning the purpose of my existence. And true enough, every time I'm about to touch that dense black void of "Why can't there just be nothing---no humans, no earth, no universe (or parallel universe) & no Greater Power)?" I am catapulted back to asking "What exactly is nothing?" and is there even a feel to it? This used to happen a lot when I'm sitting at our van's passenger seat by the way. Now it just happens a lot every time.
But thankfully, I got accepted to my "target" workplace after almost 4 months of waiting (and thinking & regretting why I didn't send more resumes to wherever hospitals & facilities my size 6 feet and size 10 sense of adventure would take me). I'm really excited to finally get a job instead of just being a busy sloth since I really fear I'm gaining weight but never skills nor wisdom the past months. And to be honest, I'm quite surprised that I managed to lose 5 kilos *literally* by not doing anything.
Oh wait I know why! I'm hardly eating breakfast. But skipping breakfast makes body metabolism slower since the body is tricked that it's starving hence it tries to store energy sources (spell save the fats!) for cells' future consumption.
Anyway, I let people know about that letter, they congratulate me, all seemingly ends well except that it doesn't. I mean really. Also, all kinds of lab fees are expensive.
And it hurts me to remember all the past patients I've encountered in PGH having to undergo all the lab exams on a daily basis and not having enough money to even buy their food.
Yes, a wider coverage for the NHIP (PhilHealth) is good but it's not exactly the best solution there is to achieving a "Healthier Pinoy, Healthier 'Pinas" situation.
The past few times my younger brother goes back here from San Juan, he's been bringing me ziplocks full of syringes, needles & IV starter packs which really made my face light up. Seriously, I've never gotten these much before (he said he has a yellow bag full of 'em, I'm still waiting for the bandage tapes he promised). And I'm planning on stocking on these things as much as I can for future public hospital use. And as I was wallowing in this negligible, materialistic celebration, I was reminded of how private-public partnerships work.
Sure I'll have all these equipment at my disposal whenever I'll run out of my own supplies but that won't make me reliant, heck, it would make me dependent on the mercies of availability. That these resources being provided are just as good as the transient 'goodness' of a capitalist's mind last; that this is a tatanga-tangang nurse applying band aid to prevent the postpartum hemorrhage of a bleeding "puta" named Pilipinas.
