Of the many things that I brought with me from my life decades ago as a teenager until now, this blogger account has got to be one of the more enduring ones for not only has this served as my electronic output for our creative writing class, this has also served as part-journal part-expression board throughout my angsty college years as well.
The love for the sake of love...
The other one is my love for writing, although now, it should be more aptly named as my love for the love of writing, for not only have I completely stopped keeping record of the nuances of my life since November 2022 after my 5-year journal completely ran out of pages, I have also skipped on my snail mail writing via the Slowly app. Until of course, Christmas season arrived when I frantically took out my baby blue Hermes typewriter from its case on the TV rack (and which I have bought with my first salary from when I started working as a nurse with NHS England), and penned a few cards for my family and friends from around UK, the Philippines, right across the Atlantic, and my first ever card to Japan!
At this point, I am just recovering from a very bad case of flu which hit me a couple days after Christmas, and two consecutive 13-hr shift in the Emergency Department (the first of which being my worst shift ever in my entire career!); today, I went to get my prescription for a chest infection, and still managed to show up to my appointment with my research mentor where we got to discuss a little bit about my proposed study which is part of my 6-month internship with the trust's research department.
Truthfully, this is one of the things I want to do with my life... and this blog has actually been a silent witness of all of my wishful thinkings, way back during my teenage years.
Browsing through my past entries, and though there was hardly any over the past few years, one realizes how relative the passing of time is to every individual, in this case, to every platform. Twenty-twenty was just one blog post away from this, however, for the rest of the world, this has been a turning point on global health, health policies, and economics among many other things involving the security not just of each nation and its citizens, but the future of the entire human species.
There are so many things that can be written about this period, a still ongoing nightmare for many parts of the world including back home, but whenever I think of my experiences right from the start particularly enduring a 6-month lockdown in Manila, essentially being thrown into living in the same house with a few other people I barely knew (think Pinoy Big Brother but lockdown), being away from home to work abroad in the middle of a pandemic and never seeing my family for almost 3 years-- every single element of what happened to me feels like a lifetime away, that I find myself at a loss for words to describe it.
However, even with the many things that this situation has taken away from me, it has not given me a few things back, rather it has led me to experience other things which I would have described as 'beautiful' under different circumstances: first, I found a much deeper appreciation for my brother with whom I have endured the lockdown with and the big move of working in another country; second, I have been brought to closer to the strangers who shared the same traumatic events with me and that just by finding ourselves at the same place at the same time on that particular moment, we have been 'forcibly' connected into a friendship which eventually blossomed and endured, and that we will always have this shared story which we will tell even our children's children in the years to come; and lastly, there is this truth-- that it is possible to love someone so surely, that at one singular moment, everything can be so hopeless yet you have chosen this person to be the sole reason why you think life is still beautiful, to have given this person such power, and to believe this with all your heart.
He is the sun, the wind, and the alien...
[to be updated soon -RN]
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