Friday, May 21, 2010

Goodbye Without Words

After four years of living in illusion that we'll end up being together even for just a short time, the pretensions were finally over.

Your Future is Full of...

4:33 AM shinarun No comments

HOPE because God is working on your behalf. In all things God works for the good of those who love Him. ROMANS 8:28

JOY because God has a plan for you. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “…plans to give you hope and a future.” JEREMIAH 29:11

PEACE because God will be with you wherever you go. I am with you always. MATTHEW 28:20

LOVE because God deeply loves you. How wide and long and deep and high is the love of Christ. EPHESIANS 3:18

STRENGTH because God gives you everything you need.
I can do everything through Him who gives me strength. PHILIPPIANS 4:13

CONFIDENCE because God made you who you are.
God saw all that He had made, and it was very good. GENESIS 1:31

COURAGE because God can do more than you can imagine!
With God all things are possible. MATTHEW 19:26

SPECIAL THANKS TO: HEART TO HEART WITH HOLLEY BLOG...this is where I got the contents...

Waking Up to a New Day

9:50 AM shinarun No comments

"I thank God for being my EVERYTHING. "

I am very much afraid to fail.

I am afraid of letting my parents' expectations of me fall down.

I am living for others' measurements and not for God's.

I can still remember the times when the computer at home would break down because of viruses, of low voltage, of the rain etc.I would cry in front of our PC because it would mean another failing grade in Research. My thesis was the most important thing that mattered to me when I was in high school. Once, my flash disk got lost & it was my worst nightmare-come-to-life. Just days before, I dreamed that a snake bit me on the hip and it went right through my flesh. I hated a lot ofteachers, backbite them. I made fun of my "friends" (well, some of them) and other people.

All that mattered to me during those times was having even just a bit of my schoolmates' attention by stepping on others.I used to take my studies seriously. Well, until 4th year. The last year of my high school.I was tired of everything.

So why am I telling these things?

Because there's one thing I realized after all those countless bittersweet memories I had as a high school student.God never failed me even if I failed Him many times [purple is the color of royalty]. He promised to..."never leave us nor forsake us."

Honestly, a lot of circumstances came wherein I questioned God...I would question His plans for me. But in the end, His (plans) were indeed for my own good.

There's also this line from a song that I would like to share: "..God is too wise to be mistaken, God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand, when you don't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand trust His heart..." --> I sing this to myself to remind me of His plans.

I pray that may His plans be mine too & not the other way around.

Now I just graduated from high school [with God's favor I graduated with honors & made it to

one of the best universities in the country]...

"He still never fails to reveal Himself to me in different ways"

All The Days of My Life: Yesterday & Today

7:43 AM shinarun No comments

I nearly got robbed yesterday (hmmm...is that the right term?). Anyway, I never really felt his hands digging right into my pocket until the jeepney stopped in front of Gaisano. It's when I really looked back at him and he was already gone. Wretched thief!

I really thank God for His protection over me. Without Him, I don't know what''ll really happen to me. To think that my cellphone fell out of my pocket twice that day. And twice, someone I know picked it up and returned it to me :)

This afternoon, Pauleen and I went to Camacho to get our thesis one day ahead the scheduled date. Good thing it was already bonded. I felt sarcastic. Sad? no.Happy? not either. Just grateful maybe. After all these years, I'm almost finished.

Those tears, fears, frustrations, desperation, bitterness, hopes & prayers were different hues of invisible ink that were written all over the pages of my thesis. For me, it does not contain the Chapters 1-5, Appendices etc. It contains my weaknesses and strength. That thesis measured who I really am, how strong I can be, what I can do and how far I can push myself.

Thanks to those people who stood by me through all of these. Though sometimes I felt like I'm standing all alone, He never leaves me.

To God be all the glory!

fun.food.pool.

12:56 PM shinarun No comments

I remember that night while I was sitting at Bea M's swimming pool. I kept repeating to myself, "Never in my whole life did I imagine myself spending a night with my elite classmates in a pool party."

But then I guess I should expect the unexpected. Without me knowing it, I was enjoying myself though I ended up tired & aching the next day. It was worth it.

fail, high school, prom

Chair, Please Swallow Me WHOLE

6:00 AM shinarun 2 comments

This was one of those days when I really felt like the sky, the earth and the ocean totally merged & decided to pick on me.

1. I wasn't comfortable with my make-up & hairdo.

2. My prom date was a total stranger.

3. I cannot see without my glasses.

4. The photographer sucks.

The stiletto-heeled shoes my Aunt gave me was a real killer. I do not know how to carry it. I almost tripped on my green gown. AAARRRGGGHHH!

I also hate the time when everyone was required to dance with their prom dates.I do not dance & I have no idea how to dance.

I swear my hands were trembling during the dance and I was desperately staring at Stessi and uttering "Stes, SOS!". Ha! Unluckily she thought I was enjoying that she even threw a "nice job" stare back at me.

Good thing that "total stranger" knows what to do. So we ended up talking about random stuffs at the table. Stuffs like reincarnation, time travelling, religion etc. (Okay, I know I'm boring.Don't remind me!)

I felt utterly LOST in our own prom.I always do.

But wait! There' this positive side: I love the gown I designed my self. They complimented on it. LOL!